i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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