Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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