I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
