After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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