This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
