just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
