if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
