at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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