I hope mine doesn't look like that
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
