I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
