I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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