we made out on top of his cat.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize