he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
A bitchslap is in order.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
