i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
