Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
