i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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