I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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