I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
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