i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
