Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
