He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
