"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
