Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
