yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize