boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Drunk is not a location!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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