Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
