Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
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