So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
