The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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