I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
