if you like me you must not know who I am
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
