Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
