I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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