Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
