You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
