You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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