...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
