I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
