who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
