Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
that may or may not have been my penis.
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