i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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