whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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