My nipple is on Facebook.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
