I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Let's get the cat blown out
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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