I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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