You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
