i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
