As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
