Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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