my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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