he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
