Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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