My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
