Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
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