So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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