my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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