I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Are we still banned from the library?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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