I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
