That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
