Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
There's always time for handjobs
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Your cock deserves a montage
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
