What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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